Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
