Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
