dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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