It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
