erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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