So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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