Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest

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  (571): dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest http://tfl.nu/nou3
  Replies (8) Good night (1314) Bad night (2049)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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  (305): i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer. http://tfl.nu/jibz
  Replies (52) Good night (37427) Bad night (1955)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.

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  (905): Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine. http://tfl.nu/hm69
  Replies (12) Good night (1298) Bad night (4050)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

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  (559): he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me. http://tfl.nu/5jau
  Replies (18) Good night (4702) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  drinking out of a sandbucket again

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  (347): drinking out of a sandbucket again http://tfl.nu/dvop
  Replies (13) Good night (3129) Bad night (1468)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.

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  (603): She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying. http://tfl.nu/6631
  Replies (6) Good night (895) Bad night (3692)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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  (415): Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited. http://tfl.nu/jdnb
  Replies (24) Good night (5444) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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  (540): The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth http://tfl.nu/eovp
  Replies (8) Good night (3082) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

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  (248): If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend. http://tfl.nu/2nlp
  Replies (2) Good night (2079) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary

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  (502): to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary http://tfl.nu/qy10
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Again, totally unrelated

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  (902): On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel (902): Again, totally unrelated http://tfl.nu/6fey
  Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

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  (214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You need southern Jesus

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  (360): Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up? (208): You need southern Jesus http://tfl.nu/52rp
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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  (832): No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even. http://tfl.nu/n3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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  (347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (310)

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