Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.