Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

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  (740): I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out http://tfl.nu/uo3s
  Replies (14) Good night (5151) Bad night (653)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?

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  (712): whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice? http://tfl.nu/r74z
  Replies (90) Good night (4079) Bad night (1091)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.

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  (520): I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock. http://tfl.nu/8w5i
  Replies (13) Good night (1358) Bad night (6610)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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  (778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4188) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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  (416): you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall. http://tfl.nu/i92r
  Replies (11) Good night (4459) Bad night (926)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood

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  (440): I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood http://tfl.nu/iriz
  Replies (15) Good night (911) Bad night (4566)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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  (607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f
  Replies (8) Good night (1949) Bad night (600)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How about a mike?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Already had two of those

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  (978): I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day (617): How about a mike? (978): Already had two of those http://tfl.nu/wf5g
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

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  (831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0
  Replies (13) Good night (2467) Bad night (780)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2689) Bad night (835)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How external is "for external use only"?

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  (859): How external is "for external use only"? http://tfl.nu/650o
  Replies (16) Good night (745) Bad night (1327)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?

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  (306): My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck? http://tfl.nu/wbbs
  Replies (6) Good night (705) Bad night (453)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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  (973): We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend. http://tfl.nu/o8s0
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (456)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"

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  (570): He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one" http://tfl.nu/0onp
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter

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  (807): i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter http://tfl.nu/p7cr
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (388)

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