He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i dont even know how to be here
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
