Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.