No stitches, just platelets and will power
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?