very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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