i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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