You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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