But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
