so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugly people sure do ruin things
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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