Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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