He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
