The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize