You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
