and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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