you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
