yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
