fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She has the best kind of daddy issues
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
