Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
