Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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