ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
