As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
