Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
birth control should be required to get into college
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
