Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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