She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
