If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
