Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
