...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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