those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
