He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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