I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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