CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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