pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
