I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
