Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think a kid would responsible me up
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
