So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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