You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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