Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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