we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
