I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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