Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
