Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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