Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
