Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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