I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
