is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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