Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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