wanna go halves on a baby?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize