I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
how does that bad decision feel?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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