I'm drive I can fine osifer
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
