i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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