I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
