so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
