Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
