Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
