did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
