dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
