I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
