At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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