Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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