so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
What a dumb baby whore.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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