that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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