I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
