Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
