Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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